Desert Water Torture

Despite liberal application of the tried and true method "Ignore it and Hope It Gets Better," the outdoor faucet's drip has turned to a gush and is now a pretty much constantly hissing flow. For a few days, I have periodically moved the end of the hose around to the base of different plants, pretending like my plumbing malfunction is actually some kind of sophisticated drip irrigation system... but seeing the Water Meter Man walking around the neighborhood in his orange shirt and metal meter-picker-upper-to-reader pole reminded me that eventually I will have to pay for these indiscretions. Ironically, having hit the August blues, my motivation to fix any last darn thing in this house is all dried up. Let me emphasize that analogy: Leak is gush; motivation goes "uggghhh." It's kind of like the noise the rest of the faucets in the house now make when I try to turn them on, having found a simple solution to the outdoor leak: I turned off the water main to the whole house. Presto! No more leak. The side effects, however, will soon become unlivable. You see, I've gotten used to flushing the toilet and washing the dishes. In about 15 minutes, I will be forced to address this problem, for real. I do now know a thing or two about teflon tape, and I own a pipe wrench. For the next 15 minutes, however, I am going to enjoy a moment of blissful desert oblivion.